How to Know If My Parent Has Dementia: A Geriatric Expert’s Guide to Spotting the Signs Early

You first noticed it when your mother asked the same question twice during dinner. No big deal, you thought, everyone forgets things sometimes. But soon it wasn’t just questions. Mom is misplacing pills, forgetting appointments, and once, she got lost on her way to the grocery store she’s shopped at for 30 years. You cannot help but wonder: Is this normal aging… or is it dementia?

“How to know if my parent has dementia” is a frequent Google search, which means you’re not alone and you’re not overreacting.

Early detection is crucial. It allows for better planning, earlier interventions, and the opportunity to protect your loved one’s independence and dignity for as long as possible.

The first step is understanding Dementia – what it is and just as importantly, what it is not.

Dementia is not a specific disease. It’s a general term for a decline in mental ability that interferes with daily life. It includes symptoms that affect memory, reasoning, language, and behavior. Alzheimer’s disease is the most common type of dementia, but others include vascular dementia, Lewy body dementia, and frontotemporal dementia.

And contrary to what many of us are taught, normal aging does not include dementia. Occasional forgetfulness or slower recall may be normal with age, but dementia causes consistent, worsening changes that disrupt day-to-day living.

There are 10 early warning signs of dementia in aging parents. On its own, none of these are definitive indicators of dementia, but they are strong red flags to take as a sign to watch more closely and seek professional guidance.

So, here is your checklist of things to look out for:

1. Short-Term Memory Loss

Your loved one may remember events from 30 years ago but forget what they ate for lunch. Repeating questions or losing track of the date are common early signs.

2. Difficulty Performing Familiar Tasks

Tasks like managing finances, using the TV remote, cooking, or following a recipe may suddenly become confusing or frustrating.

3. Problems with Language

Struggling to find the right word, substituting unusual words, or pausing mid-sentence to regroup are signs to watch for.

4. Disorientation to Time or Place

They may forget where they are, get lost in a familiar neighborhood, or confuse morning and evening.

5. Poor or Decreased Judgment

Examples include dressing inappropriately for the weather, giving away large sums of money, or failing to recognize unsafe situations.

6. Withdrawal from Work or Social Activities

If your parent suddenly stops participating in hobbies, social gatherings, or conversations, it may be due to confusion, embarrassment, or anxiety caused by cognitive decline.

7. Changes in Mood and Personality

They may become unusually anxious, suspicious, irritable, apathetic, or fearful, especially when outside their comfort zone.

8. Struggles with Abstract Thinking

Managing bills, following instructions, or doing basic math may suddenly become difficult.

9. Misplacing Items in Illogical Places

Putting a remote control in the refrigerator or car keys in the medicine cabinet may seem humorous at first, but is this behavior typical for your loved one or did it just start happening? Did it just happen once, or has it been happening more often?

10. Trouble Understanding Visual Information

In some types of dementia, vision problems occur, such as difficulty reading, judging distances, or recognizing familiar faces.

If you're seeing one or more of these symptoms persistently, it’s time to take action. This may seem daunting, but we have you covered with a simple-to-follow to-do list:

✔️ Document the Symptoms

Keep a dated log of what you’re noticing. Be specific. For example, “Mom forgot my name and could not think of it until I reminded her” is more useful than “Mom was confused.”

✔️ Have a Conversation

Choose a calm, non-threatening moment to talk. You might say, “I’ve noticed you’ve seemed more forgetful lately, and I’m worried. Can we talk about it together?”

Expect resistance. Many aging adults feel shame, fear, or denial. If your parent becomes defensive, you can revisit the conversation later or bring in a trusted third party like a doctor, pastor, or geriatric care manager (this type of conversation is something our team specializes in).

✔️ Schedule a Medical Evaluation

Rule out other causes like thyroid issues, vitamin deficiencies, depression, or medication side effects, which can mimic dementia symptoms.

A full evaluation may include:

• Physical and neurological exams

• Cognitive and memory tests

• Bloodwork

• Brain imaging (MRI or CT scan)

• Psychiatric evaluation

  
  

✔️ Onboard A Geriatric Care Manager

A geriatric care manager can help point you in the right direction and coordinate care across multiple specialists as needed, navigating insurance coverage and logistics, but that is not all.

Especially with dementia, a plan for preventative care, living arrangements, financial wellness, and legal coverage is crucially important. A quality geriatric care manager will ensure you do not spend your time wondering whether your loved one is receiving adequate care – they act as an expert advocate by their side whether at a doctor’s appointment or with legal and financial matters, they make sure your loved one is taking advantage of all the resources available to them, and they give you expert guidance on how to stay ahead of difficult decisions.

For a more detailed checklist for finding the right geriatric care manager, check out this article: Criteria To Consider When Hiring A Geriatric Care Manager

Now, if you’re worried you might be misreading the situation with your loved one, here is a list of common misconceptions about dementia to provide some further clarity:

X - “It’s just old age.”

As discussed, normal aging might include slower recall or mild forgetfulness, but not consistent disorientation, confusion, or language loss. One instance is far from enough of a reason to ring the alarm. Instead, consider whether this is happening at an unusual rate.

X - “There’s nothing you can do.”

While there is currently no cure, early intervention can dramatically improve quality of life. Medications, routines, safety adjustments, and social support can all help slow progression and reduce stress for both patient and family. There is value in scheduling the necessary doctor’s appointments and getting a professional opinion.

X - “I’ll know for sure when it’s dementia.”

Many people delay seeking help because early signs are subtle. But the earlier you act, the more choices you have.

How to Start the Conversation with a Professional

You don’t need a formal diagnosis to benefit from support. At Senior Steps, our first consultation is free, and there’s no obligation to commit to long-term services.

If you're unsure whether your parent is showing signs of dementia, or if you’ve already seen enough to worry, it’s worth a conversation with a geriatric care expert.

Trust Your Instincts!

When it comes to cognitive decline, you are the expert in your parent’s baseline. If something feels off, don’t wait. It’s not overreacting - it’s being proactive.

Early planning allows families to protect independence, reduce emergencies, and maintain strong relationships through what can otherwise be a chaotic and emotionally draining process.

If you’re noticing troubling changes and wondering, how to know if my parent has dementia, our team at Senior Steps can help. Schedule your free consultation today at seniorsteps.org/book-online to get answers, guidance, and a personalized plan forward.

Let us help you move from fear and uncertainty to clarity and confident caregiving.