Coordinating Care for Aging Parents: A Simple Guide for Busy Families

For many adult children, one of the hardest transitions in life is realizing that a parent who once took care of you now needs care themselves. The signs can appear slowly: a forgotten doctor’s appointment, unopened mail, skipped meals; or they can arrive suddenly after a fall or hospital stay. Whatever brings that realization, it often comes with confusion and worry: Where do I start? Who can help? How do I manage this when I’m already stretched thin?

Coordinating care for aging parents doesn’t have to mean doing everything alone.

First, let’s get clear on what your parent needs.

Before reaching out for help, take a clear, honest look at your parent’s current situation.

Try to assess four main areas:

1. Medical: What health conditions are being managed? Are medications being taken correctly? Are there upcoming appointments or tests?

2. Functional: Can your parent manage daily tasks such as cooking, bathing, and paying bills? Are there any recent changes in mobility, balance, or memory?

3. Emotional and social: Is your parent isolated or depressed? Do they have friends, activities, or community connections?

4. Environmental: Is the home safe, accessible, and clean? Are there risks such as stairs, clutter, or expired food?

This kind of informal assessment gives you a snapshot of what’s working and what’s not. It also helps you communicate more effectively with doctors, social workers, or other professionals you may involve later.

It’s natural for older adults to resist help, especially when independence is at stake. Approach conversations with empathy rather than urgency. You might say:

• “Mom, I’ve noticed it’s been harder for you to get to your appointments lately. Would it help if we found someone to go with you?”

• “Dad, I know you want to stay in your home. Let’s talk about ways to make that easier and safer for you.”

The goal is to partner with your parent, not make decisions for them. Involving them early builds trust and helps avoid future conflict.

Next, make sure you are gathering the right kind of information.

Care coordination depends on having accurate, up-to-date information. Begin collecting and organizing the essentials:

• Medical records and medication lists

• Contact information for all doctors and specialists

• Insurance details and emergency contacts

• Legal documents such as power of attorney, advance directives, and wills

• A list of current services (home health, transportation, meal delivery, etc.)

Keep everything in one place, whether a binder, spreadsheet, or secure digital file, so you and other family members can easily access it.

With this information, you can start building your team.

Coordinating care is rarely a one-person job. Think in terms of building a team around your parent, which may include:

• Family members: Siblings or relatives can take on specific roles (e.g., managing finances, handling appointments, visiting regularly).

• Healthcare providers: Primary care physicians, specialists, nurses, and pharmacists should all communicate with one another, and with you.

• Home care providers: In-home aides, physical therapists, or visiting nurses can handle daily support and health monitoring.

• Community resources: Senior centers, transportation services, and meal programs can improve quality of life.

• Geriatric care managers (also called aging life care professionals): These are specialists who help families coordinate all of the above. They assess needs, connect services, and serve as ongoing advocates, particularly valuable for families juggling work or living far away.

NOTE: if you’re not sure what resources are actually available and affordable to you, contacting a geriatric care manager (like Senior Steps!) for a free consultation is a great first step.

Having a central point of contact, whether it’s a family member or a professional care manager, ensures nothing falls through the cracks.

Now, to create a plan of action.

Once you understand the needs and resources available, put together a written plan. This doesn’t have to be complicated; a simple document that outlines who is responsible for what can prevent miscommunication later. Include:

• A list of care providers and their contact information

• Medication schedules and upcoming appointments

• Household and safety needs

• Signs to watch for (e.g., medication side effects, memory decline, new pain)

• Emergency plans and backup contacts

Review and adjust the plan regularly, especially after hospitalizations or major health changes.

Did you know? Our team offers online or in-person assessments where the goal is to formulate an actionable plan for addressing immediate and long-term needs.

The best care plans can unravel if people stop talking. Set up a system for regular updates, whether that’s a weekly family call, a shared online calendar, or a group text thread. Encourage your parent’s providers to share notes and test results with everyone involved.

If you live far away, consider using technology like video check-ins, medical alert systems, or smart home devices that track safety and routines. The goal is to stay informed without becoming overwhelmed.

Don’t forget to take care of yourself, too.

Coordinating care can be emotionally draining. Many adult children feel torn between their own responsibilities and their parents’ needs. Remember that you can’t provide good care if you’re burnt out.

• Ask for help early. Don’t wait for a crisis.

• Consider respite care if you’re a hands-on caregiver.

• Join local or online caregiver support groups.

• Recognize that feeling frustrated or guilty is normal.

Your wellbeing directly affects your ability to care for your loved one.

If your parent’s needs become too complex to manage, or if family disagreements are creating tension, a professional geriatric care manager can make an enormous difference. These experts understand the healthcare, financial, and emotional sides of aging. They can:

• Conduct in-depth assessments

• Develop and oversee care plans

• Coordinate between doctors, caregivers, and families

• Help navigate transitions such as hospital discharge or relocation

Families often describe hiring a care manager as “finally being able to breathe again.”

The bottom line is, coordinating care for an aging parent isn’t just about logistics - it’s about preserving dignity, safety, and peace of mind for everyone involved. Start small: have the conversation, gather the information, and build your team one step at a time.

The earlier you create a plan, the easier it is to adapt when circumstances change.

Whether you manage things yourself or bring in professional support, the goal is the same: helping your parent live well, with the right care, at the right time.

If you would like to read more similar articles, please subscribe to our newsletter below, free of charge. If you’d like to contact us, please do so through our social media platforms or by filling out the 30-second form at SeniorSteps.org/book-online .